


If Wishes Were Kisses

by boardwalk



Category: One Piece
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Making Out, Making Up, Pining, Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-26
Updated: 2020-05-26
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:28:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,943
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24382057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boardwalk/pseuds/boardwalk
Summary: On one of their visits, Sabo is called to leave at midnight. Ace wakes up and asks why he tends to leave him when he's asleep. Sabo doesn't want to admit that it takes a lot of willpower and sense of obligation to leave Ace, as it does every time.Long-distance sure is painful.
Relationships: Portgas D. Ace/Sabo
Comments: 5
Kudos: 75





	If Wishes Were Kisses

(He found all of his regrets loaded in a barrel of some no nameless goon’s gun. 

Confidence is his downfall. What was supposed to be a quiet, easy mission turned into a staring match with death. How pitiful, he thought wryly. No suspenseful fight, no dramatic explosions with victory looming over the horizon. He was caught, simple as that. A quick twitch of a finger and he’s gone from this world and into the next with not so much as a goodbye. 

He should’ve listened to Dragon more, to be vigilant and patient. 

He should’ve apologized to Koala, for leaving her behind again

He should’ve written to Luffy, if only to give a token to remember him by. 

Sabo should've stayed that night when he was asked to- he wished he could be with Ace one last time. 

The clock ticks as his heart beats, time slowing down as his eyes zone in on the trigger-) 

  
  


Jolting awake from the memory- a nightmare? Sabo wakes in time to shush impatiently at the call of the transponder snail. 

He wipes away the vestiges of the nightmare on his face, silently groaning at how pitch black it is outside. The moon is still high and the darkness provided ample cover. It’s silent in this sleepy outpost. Tell-tale signs that his short reprieve has ended, the timing is perfect, and he’s expected to return. Immediately too, if there’s anything to be said about the seemingly judgemental stare coming from the little snail. 

It is with heavy heart that he trudges through the rented room, sifting through the clothes strewn on the floor. He stretches as he pulls on his shirt, rubbing the sore spot on his shoulder where the faint indent of teeth remained. His muscles still ached from how eager he was to see him but he had no time to appreciate how his body throbs and why it does. 

Sabo turns his head to the source, giving up on tying his cravat and letting it lie limp around his neck. 

Ace continued to sleep, blissfully ignorant. He made the perfect picture of tranquility. Sleep-flushed cheek set upon white covers, the flare and curl of his dark hair on the pillows, a stray lock laying across his eyelids that begged to be brushed away. Sabo wants to touch, he wants to touch badly, but touching would pull the linchpin keeping his wits together and so he smothers the want with poor discipline. 

Heaving a long breath, shuts his eyes at the sight and he makes a swift turn. Only to trip over a belt and then knock his hip on the table. 

“Shit.” The loudness of his misstep echo mockingly in his strained hearing. He curses profusely in his head, thankful that no one witnessed his blunder. So much for stealth. Nothing is going his way tonight. 

But then again, leaving was never easy. 

His chances to slip away are foiled as the figure on the bed began to stir. A stray hand pokes from under the covers to look for him, patting at the vacant space. "Sabo?"

Sabo closes his eyes and exhales through his nose. There goes his clean escape. "Hey, go back to sleep.” He tries, crooning in a low and comforting tone. 

Decidedly not going back to sleep, Ace asks drowsily, “where you goin'?"

Remaining silent, Sabo could feel the shift in atmosphere as the piercing moment of realization broke Ace’s easy rest. The hand reaching for him retreats slowly under the sheets. Guilt and childish anger stirred in his chest as his desires and responsibilities conflicted. Every time - he wanted to stay. But he had responsibilities to fulfill; to himself, to his army, and to their goal. His position didn’t allow him to indulge in his affections, and it’s in fragile moments like these that he hated rank. 

Ace hears the words that couldn't be said because he’s heard it often before. He rubs his knuckles over his eyes in a bleary attempt to be alert. “You always leave when I'm sleepin’.”

"I have to.” Sabo says ruefully. “I don't trust you to let me leave."

Or rather, Sabo doesn’t know if he could trust himself to leave. He hasn’t lost a battle yet but it wasn’t for the lack of trying. Leaving him was like resisting the tug of the tides, digging his heels in the sand to keep himself upright despite gravity trying to bowl him over. His convictions were far too thin when he’s near. The concept of fighting the long war removed from his mind when he’s within the comfort and safety of his presence. Safe harbor was hard to come by these days. 

"You think I could stop you?"

He shrugs. It hadn’t stopped Ace before. They had a routine tried and true to fail, no matter how close Ace got to having him stay. 

"No, but that doesn't mean you won't try." His lips quirk upwards into a mirthless smirk, adopting a teasing lilt in his voice to distract them from the inevitable. "You’ll tell me not to go, make a list of excuses - what was it again? The bed’s getting cold, let me help you warm it up." Ace made a sound between a scoff and a chuckle. Sabo smiles, sardonic. "If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were trying to seduce me.” 

They used to find challenge in this game, with Ace playing tactics and Sabo testing his self restraint. The pirate would try every trick in the book to entice him from leaving, ranging from salacious explorations to childish taunts to fight him until morning. Though lately... his heart sinks a bit, looking back on their recent encounters. Somewhere along their many trysts, he finds that Ace had stopped trying as hard as he did before. 

A playful hum drew his attention. The slight arch of an eyebrow, the stretch of his lips in the beginnings of a smirk, Ace made a terrible attempt to play sultry. He was too deep in the comforts of sleep to be fully present and alluring. But even then, the moon light softened his features, and the curve of his cheek pressed on the pillow made an illusion of a small smile- he looked more helplessly fond than anything else. Sabo felt his breath catch at the sight. This was infinitely worse than sultry. 

His eyes trace the teasing motion of his fingers as a beckoning hand reached out for him, steadfast and expectant. "Seduce you, huh. Is it working?"

"Not in the slightest," he says as he dives headfirst into temptation. Hiding his face into the warm side of his throat, he breathes in the heady smell of his skin. Their mingled scent from hours before covers him like a thin, protective blanket. Languor has his muscles slowly sinking into his welcoming arms and he struggles to keep himself afloat. He’s maintaining an awkward sitting position where his knee is bent on the edge of the bed and his other leg facing the doorway while his torso is trapped by Ace. Sabo stubbornly has one foot planted on the floor because once his shoes leave the hardwood surface, it’s game over - Sabo wouldn't be able to leave. With a long groan, he shakes his head. “This is what I meant."

Ace laughs lightly at the blond hairs tickling at his neck. "Weak. You’re so easily seduced."

It was a weakness, he confesses. One of his only weaknesses, and out of all of them on that short list, this one aggravates him the most. This one lulls him to surrender before he could attempt to fight it off, and there are times where he simply doesn’t want to. In his experience in the army, this is considered the deadliest. This is the kind they were warned to stay away from. 

They held still as they heard the ringing.

Sabo’s grip tightens around Ace’s back as he tensed, his spine rigid as the pressure to leave nagged at him. Defiance drives him closer to his warm embrace. The thought of being outside in the unforgiving cold makes him shudder. 

Ace shushes at the snail and he snickers at the offended look it shoots him. His fingers lace delicately together on top Sabo’s shoulders, taunting. “You’re gonna get yelled at again. Wanna skip the lecture and play hooky with me?”

"Hmph.” Sabo doesn’t budge from his hiding place, even though the stress of his absence should have him hurrying to go back. “You wish I could stay here and sleep the day away like you can."

"Don't mix up your wishes for mine."

“Oh?” The wistful inflection in Ace’s voice begs him to ask. That dream lingers in his mind, and out of curiosity and slight masochism, he wonders. “What would yours be?"

"Nothing.” Ace answers readily, avoidant. 

Sensing his change in mood, Sabo peels himself away to catch Ace’s eyes trailing off guiltily to the side. His expression blares with stifled yearning, in as much the same way as when he wants Sabo to stay. Underneath that however is heavy resignation, of a request he’s decided that will be denied before he could ask. Under Sabo’s heavy scrutiny, Ace turns his head away from him. 

Sabo’s stomach twists. It looked just like - 

  
  


(“It’s okay. I get it.”

His voice is steady but his eyes are anything but. Disappointment washes over his form in waves, and Sabo’s thankful for the darkness. He wouldn’t have to bear full witness to the death of those hopes. 

“I’m sorry,” he offers lamely. His mouth parts to say more; he wants to stay, really he does, but his tongue is heavy and tired from the burden of explaining why he can’t. 

Ace seems to understand, or at least, Sabo expects him to. It didn’t need saying. He shouldn’t have to defend himself. But it doesn’t hurt any less when Ace turns his back to him, mutters under his breath, rehearsed and bitter. “Don’t be.”)

That stung. The exchange stayed with him longer than most of their goodbye’s, plaguing him when his mind wasn’t on the missions. It left him cold, colder than the oceans between them when they stayed apart. The tone Ace had sent him away with crept under his skin, made him bleed and itch, like a scab that Sabo kept picking at only to come back uglier than before. 

Even though they’re past that, the troublesome feeling was buried under their torrid dance of smart-mouthed quips and violent kisses. It lurked under the surface of their relationship but remained because sex didn’t mean forgiveness. Though, it was not as if Sabo could've been forgiven, he wasn’t truly sorry until now, until that nightmare-memory reminded him that life was too short to not love him properly. 

This had dragged on between them for too long; the game was their poor effort to conceal the bigger problem. Sabo shakes his head in silent reprimand. He wouldn’t allow either of them to hide, not this time.

"Name them.” He insists, lips pressing at the skin below his ear. 

Ace breathes out a sigh and shivers at the fleeting touch. His head tilts further into the pillow to guide fluttering kisses from his jaw down to his neck and up again in slow repetitions. The attentions eased the hesitation from his shoulders, body laying heavily on the bed, allowing Sabo to do as he pleased with him. His lashes drifted shut and for a moment he looked as if he was dozing off to sleep. 

Ace jerks into lucidity when Sabo bites at his collar bone, the sudden sharpness of his teeth demanding he answer. Hissing, he grabs at the back of Sabo’s coat, wrinkling the fabric in warning but the hot, wet swipes of his tongue lavishing half-felt apologies on the bite pacifies him enough to respond. He glances at the clock from the corner of his eyes, saying, “‘wish I had a different father, Pops to live forever, see Luffy make it to his dream."

Sabo chuckles, rubbing his cheek against his freckles as he shakes his head. Wrong answers, all of them. He thinks he’s acting coy. “Those are probably beyond my influence, though the last one definitely doesn’t need my help.” Taking his chin in hand, he gently guides him to meet his gaze. “Think again. Something I could do.”

Sabo’s playing unfairly, leading Ace to ask a question Sabo wanted to say yes to, what the other had been aversed to ask since he’d been turned down the first time. In this moment, at the brink of leaving, Sabo needed him to hear him ask again. 

“I wish...” 

The reply broke off into a stuttered halt as the room echoed with a small reprise of hums and breathless approvals while Sabo continued to deepen the marks he's left earlier in the night. He’d been determined to leave lasting bruises on tan skin and he’s nothing but thorough in making sure that it does. Ace doesn’t seem to mind, throwing his head back, squirming more into his touch rather than away from it. 

A drawn out cry escapes as he finishes off his work with a sharp bite. Satisfied, he trails back up to capture his slack mouth in a searing kiss, achingly slow and savored, remaining there as if he belonged there and nowhere else. Ace parts his lips easily to let him inside, and he plunders his mouth like he could steal those words off his tongue and into the open. 

Distantly, Sabo realizes that he’s in dangerous territory. Rationale steps aside to let instinct guide his way, following Ace’s moans and where he wanted his hands to be. Ace’s fingers are tangled in his hair, tugging him closer, his chest is arching underneath him for more, and it’s all snowballing out of his hands quickly. Sabo still doesn’t have what he wanted yet and he should stop before their arousal reaches desperation of the unavoidable kind. 

He pulls away by just a centimeter, albeit reluctantly, the need for air too pressing an issue to continue. They’re close enough that he could feel his lashes sweep high against his cheek, close enough to mistake his gasps as his own. As he waits for him to catch his breath, he’s charmed by the flush of color in his cheeks and the swollen redness of his lips, which he shouldn’t be focusing on if he wanted to keep his self control from snapping. 

A hand grazes the side of his face. Ace lifts his heavy eyes to stare into his, confessing dazedly. “I wish you’d stay. Only until morning.”

The small whisper has Sabo melting on the inside. It was the first time Ace said these sentiments directly, he knew it would only be harder on Sabo when they’re away. They didn’t want to say it, they didn’t want to hear it, because hidden deeper is the fear that their meetings in the future would be short and far in between, that it would eventually fade away into nothing because the effort wouldn’t be worth making. 

The break in his wish isn’t lost on him either. Ace asks within his limits, knows what Sabo could give and what he could not. He could try to play Sabo into giving into their wants, letting Sabo decide if they could, but he would never ask it of him. 

And not for the first time that night, Sabo falls enamored by him. “I-“

They’re interrupted once again by the call. 

Sabo doesn’t pay it any mind, silently watching as Ace throws a look of consternation in its direction. The pressing sound stops immediately but time continues ticking. For all the shushing at the poor snail they can’t silence the clock. With a mournful sigh, Ace’s hands slowly unweave from his hair and his arms start to slip away. It’s gone cold once more and Sabo hasn’t given him his answer -

He catches the hand on his cheek, pressing it solidly against his skin. When Ace looks at him, it’s the wavering hope reflecting in his eyes that makes Sabo wonder how he could possibly deny that a second time. 

Lingering kiss on his flushed cheek and says what he never said on their visits before, an affirmation. “I will. Next time.”

A promise won’t solve their problems. He knows it won’t make the pain of separation any easier but he believes he’s moving in the right direction. Baby steps. Sabo’s trying and he hopes it’s enough until the next time they can be together again.

Pulling away, he’s steeling himself to find hurt and disappointment but is surprised to find none. 

“Next time,” Ace agrees softly. He understands, and Sabo knows he does when he faces him with candid trust. There is sweetness in his smile when he drags him into his arms, murmuring fragile words he would be too embarrassed to say during daylight. 

Returning the sentiments, Sabo holds him tightly, shuts his eyes as he engrains the shape of him on his skin, as he tries to soak in the pleasant ache to tide him over until their next meeting. This, he will keep when he needs it the most, when regrets threaten his peace. 

The calling ends for the night, the damage down, and so he stays. For a few minutes, Sabo stays with Ace, keeping him close until his breaths evened out and his grip fell slack. 

With a heavy and painful sigh, Sabo slips away from the embrace and ventures out into the cold sea, leaving his heart on the bed, fallen back asleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Words are hard to grasp lately, so I apologize for the all the rust. I've got plenty of AU's with these boys but none of the right words to write them with.
> 
> Thank you to you guys who read, kudo'd, bookmarked, and commented on the fics even though it's been a year. That's what's been keeping me afloat on this ship.  
> Also a huge thanks to the friends in the discord server who encouraged me to write! This fic wouldn't be up without ya'll.


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